EZ Counseling, Making Your LIfe Easy

I Don't Feel Good

2012-02-09T03:00:00.000-08:00

Sometimes we are uncomfortable and sometimes we don't get what we want.
We don't have to like any of this, we only have to tolerate it.

If we can tolerate it, it will pass quickly.

If we worry and fret over the consequences, we will suffer.

Acceptance

2011-03-30T12:21:00.001-07:00

Acceptance does not mean that you approve of a bad situation.
Acceptance does not mean that it's okay, or you're allright
with everything.

Acceptance means that you feel bad and understand that you
may not feel better right away.

Acceptance comes from deep within.

Sitting With Pain

2011-03-10T05:14:00.000-08:00

Sometimes we can't fix everthing. Sometimes we can't make it better.
Sometimes we have to sit with the pain.

It is not pleasant, but it is inevitable.

When we try to fight it, it gets worse. This is what creates suffering.

I Can't Take One More Thing

2010-08-18T10:16:00.000-07:00

Have you ever found yourself feeling overwhelmed, that one more thing would just push you over the edge? Of course, we have all felt this way. But it's important to pay attention to the language that we use when feeling like this.

Telling yourself that you can't manage problems, big or small, means you are setting your self up. You can manage it and you will manage it. We are so often to quick to judge ourselves as incompetent.

I always suggest doing the opposite. So when you feel like you can't take it anymore, switch the focus to "I am competent and I can handle this". This simple shift in thinking can do a lot.

A Good Nights Sleep

2010-07-29T20:03:00.000-07:00

A few evenings ago I found myself very troubled by something. I knew I could settle it with a few phone calls, but I would just have to wait until the morning. I told myself that I would probably be unable to sleep and guess what? it came true.

I tossed and turned and then I applied some simple techniques. The most important is not to worry about not being able to sleep, the number one cause of poor sleep is worrying about it. Second, I tried to focus my thoughts on something pleasant and productive.

I like music, so I thought of songs. Yes, I did catch my thought wandering, but when then did I redirected myself back to the song. Also, I knew that I would be okay, sure I would be tired the next day, but I would survive. I drifted into sleep.

E.Z. Counseling, Making Your Life Easy

www.ezcounseling.vpweb.com/

Fighting Our Feelings

2010-07-19T06:57:00.000-07:00

Last night I was watching the History Channel, the segment was about the Art Of War. I was impressed by the strategy of "Sometimes the best way to fight is to not fight at all". The meaning being that you have to weigh your gains against the costs.

This is very similar to our daily struggles and how we handle our emotions and feelings. Do we always consider the cost of fighting our emotions and feelings? What are the gains to "I shouldn't feel this way" or "I'm not comfortable with anger"?

The paradoxical effect of fighting our emotions is that we will usually intensify them. We put all our focus and energy on trying not to experience anything unpleasant. What if we didn't fight it, what if we just experienced it? The answer is the pain would go away quicker.

Please visit my website to learn more: ezcounseling.vpweb.com

EZ Counseling, Making Your Life Easy

Disappointment

2010-07-14T10:40:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I was very disappointed by something that happened, something that I had no control over (I could not influence the outcome). I started to think of what I could do, how could I make myself feel better?

I concluded that any action I took would be fueled by my emotions, so I decided that the best action would be to take no action at all. I thought deeply about what the situation called for, what was best or wise, again, no action.

It occurred to me that I would just have to be disappointed! Did I like it? Was it fair? NO! But sometimes the only way out is to go through. In other words I knew that I would just have to feel bad for a while.

Visit my website to learn more: ezcounseling.vpweb.com

EZ Counseling, Making Your Life Easy

Anger Management

2010-07-07T04:26:00.000-07:00

I often feel like anger, and managing ones anger remain misunderstood. Managing your anger does not mean you do not get angry. Every one gets angry, it's a normal emotion. The tricky part is what we do when we get angry.

Obviously, if some one becomes violent or destructive when angry, clearly they have a problem with anger. But here is some thing else to think about, when you get angry how long does it take you to try to make the situation better?

That is what anger management is all about, when you get angry what do you do to make things better. Clearly something is wrong, acting impulsively out of anger will not make things better and will not serve you well. Focus on how to improve things.

EZ Counseling, Making Your Life Easy

ezcounseling.vpweb.com

The Perfectionist

2010-06-21T17:54:00.000-07:00

Perfectionism can and does lead to anxiety. Why? Because it is unobtainable. If we are constantly striving for some thing we can't ever achieve we will always fail.

Why can't we ever achieve perfectionism? Because the perfectionist will always find something that is wrong. Remember hearing "no-one is perfect", well it's true. All humans are fallible and once we admit this our lives can become easier.

Why do we try to be perfect if we know it's unrealistic? Because our culture uses it to sell you stuff. If your not perfect, then buy my product and you will be. Instead of perfect, look to be good enough.

Visit my web site to learn more about me.
www.ezcounseling.vpweb.com/

E.Z. Counseling, Making Your Life Easy

Learn to Fail, or Fail to Learn

2010-06-16T08:17:00.000-07:00

A significant amount of anxiety is created by our strong desire to avoid failure. No one likes to fail, however it is inevitable as well as important. No one is perfect and our persistent striving for perfection is unrealistic.

Trying to avoid failure often sets us up to experience even more anxiety. If I don't try, then I won't fail. But at what cost? We get stuck, we avoid, we regret not trying.

Any great success story is preceded by failure. I encourage a different view of success. Trying means you are taking action towards a goal, if you fail it becomes an opportunity to learn, to grow. Taking action is success!

To learn more, visit my web site for more about me and how I can help you.

www.ezcounseling.vpweb.com/

E.Z. Counseling, Making Your Life Easy

Managing Our Emotions

2010-06-10T06:45:00.000-07:00

I feel it's important to clarify my last blog (06/07/10).
What's wrong with being scared? Sure, it's unpleasant and
it's uncomfortable, but it's an inevitable human emotion.

We are all human and we all have feelings. The tricky part
is to avoid judging our emotions and avoid judging our selves
based on our emotions.

Pain creates suffering when we refuse to accept the pain.
We need to learn to accept, which means it isn’t good and
it isn’t bad, it just is.

If you want to learn more, visit my web site for more about me and how I can help you.

www.ezcounseling.vpweb.com/

E.Z. Counseling, Making Your Life Easy

Acknowledge Your Emotions

2010-06-07T19:34:00.000-07:00

Too many of us are too often not acknowledging our emotions. It seems especially difficult to acknowledge our negative emotions. I would say that our culture discourages us from experiencing any emotions that may be unpleasant.

So what do we do? We fight our feelings, we deny our emotions, we bottle it up or pretend that they do not exist. Some one recently said to me “I’ll just pretend that I’m not scared”. Why? What’s wrong with being scared? It's unpleasant, uncomfortable, but not wrong.

When we try to deny our emotions we usually intensify them. This is because we put all of our focus and energy on something we don’t want. If we simply accepting our feeling, they would be easier to let go of.

E.Z. Counseling, Making Your Life Easy

www.ezcounseling.vpweb.com/

Uncertainty

2010-06-01T14:40:00.000-07:00

I once had a conversation with someone who had several pending situations, the outcomes of which she could not predict. We reviewed what she had done about each situation, keeping the focus on what was in her control, however she remained unsettled by not knowing what would happen.

The conclusion to all this was that it was not so much what would happen that was bothering her, as we both knew that she would be able to manage what ever the outcome was, it was the uncertainty that was bothering her.

This is something most of us struggle with, we want certainty, we want guarantees, we want something that is usually not realistic. We need to become more comfortable with uncertainty and acknowledge that it is an inevitable part of our daily lives.

E.Z. Counseling, Making Your Life Easy

www.ezcounseling.vpweb.com/